Valentine’s Day Can Be Difficult for Those Missing a Spouse or Significant Other Tips for those missing a loved one, and how to comfort those in grief
Hospice of Santa Barbara addressing how Valentine’s Day can be especially difficult for those grieving the loss of a spouse or significant other, along with tips for coping and offering comfort.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA - February 10, 2026 - Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love and a time to rededicate our affection for a spouse or partner with flowers, cards, chocolate, and a romantic dinner. But for those who are coping with the loss of a partner or loved one, Valentine’s Day can trigger overwhelming feelings of loneliness, grief, and isolation, with seasonal décor serving as a constant reminder of the loss.
Valentine’s Day can be particularly challenging for someone who is grieving the loss of a partner or spouse because the day is designed around devoting energy and time to that particular person.
During times like these, compassionate support can make a meaningful difference. Hospice of Santa Barbara offers free grief support services for individuals and families coping with loss, including one-on-one counseling, support groups, and specialized programs for all ages. These services provide a safe space to express emotions, share memories, and feel less alone—especially on emotionally charged days like Valentine’s Day.
Hospice of Santa Barbara suggests these tips to help cope when missing that special someone on Valentine’s Day:
Appreciate friendships. This holiday is not exclusively for couples; it can be a time for you to share with others how special they are to you.
Do something for others. Take the day off from work to volunteer somewhere close to your heart. Helping others can be a gift to yourself and lift your spirits in meaningful ways.
Treat yourself to something you love or have wanted to do for a long time.
Plant a flower or garden as a permanent and growing symbol in memory of your loved one.
Share stories of the early years of your romance with your children; it can be entertaining and allow you to remember how many wonderful times you had together.
Spend time with an animal, or if you do not have a pet, visit a friend who does and soak in the comfort of unconditional love.
Lean on your support. We all need a shoulder to lean on from time to time, and those who love you want to help. Try not to isolate yourself or pretend things are okay if they really aren’t.
Allow yourself to set limits. It is absolutely acceptable to turn down invitations when friends invite you to come out for Valentine’s Day.
Finding the right way to show we care and express our condolences can often be challenging. Here are some ways to offer comfort and express your sympathy on Valentine’s Day:
Reach out. Call your friend to let them know you are thinking about them and share a funny or touching story about their partner.
Spread the love. Send cookies, flowers, or another treat with a card that says, “I wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today.”
Encourage expression of feelings. Allowing your friend to express emotions and share memories may be a huge help. Try to listen without offering advice or interruption.
Don’t be afraid to ask. If you normally celebrate Valentine’s Day as a couple or in a group, still extend the invitation. Even if they decline, it shows they are remembered.
Don’t be pushy. If your friend can’t bear to come out without their loved one, let them know you will miss them and respect their choice.
Caring for yourself, caring for others, and receiving compassionate support—whether from friends, family, or grief professionals like those at Hospice of Santa Barbara—can make a tremendous difference on Valentine’s Day and every day.
Hospice of SB was founded in 1974, making it the second-oldest hospice organization in the country. It employs about 50 staff and over 100 volunteers who serve 2,100 people with direct services and hundreds more with training classes, workshops, education, and outreach events. All services provided by the organization are free of charge.
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Santa Barbara Home Improvement Center’s Round-Up (to the next dollar) Campaign Raises $10,000 for Hospice of Santa Barbara
Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is thrilled to announce the successful completion of the October Round-Up Campaign hosted by the Santa Barbara Home Improvement Center. Over the course of the 33-day campaign, customers were invited to round up their purchases at checkout or make an additional donation, directly benefiting Hospice of Santa Barbara’s services.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA, December 8, 2025 — Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is thrilled to announce the successful completion of the October Round-Up Campaign hosted by the Santa Barbara Home Improvement Center. Over the course of the 33-day campaign, customers were invited to round up their purchases at checkout or make an additional donation, directly benefiting Hospice of Santa Barbara’s services.
The campaign successfully raised an impressive $10,000 for Hospice of Santa Barbara. This significant total was achieved through the generosity of approximately 20,000 customers, highlighting the community-wide reach of the effort. 100% of the funds benefit Hospice of Santa Barbara services, which are provided at no cost.
“We are deeply grateful to Gary Simpson and the entire Santa Barbara Home Improvement Center team for their continued generosity and for hosting this successful campaign,” said David Selberg, Hospice of Santa Barbara CEO.
This generous effort directly supports HSB’s mission to provide compassionate care to individuals and families experiencing life-threatening illness or grieving the loss of a loved one.
“I would like to thank the thousands of wonderful customers who sought to help Hospice of Santa Barbara through their donations during our 33-day campaign,” said Gary Simpson, Owner and President of Santa Barbara Home Improvement Center. “Hospice of Santa Barbara has been a constant in our community for over 50 years, providing compassionate care to those in our community experiencing a life-threatening illness or grieving the loss of a loved one, free of charge. It is our absolute pleasure to raise money to provide more services to people in Santa Barbara who need this care.”
Santa Barbara Home Improvement Center: www.sbhicace.com
Hospice of Santa Barbara
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on seventeen local elementary, junior high and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsb.org/.
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Join Hospice of Santa Barbara in Celebrating 42nd Annual Light Up a Life Ceremonies, Honoring Loved Ones This Holiday Season
Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is honored to invite the community to its 42nd Annual Light Up a Life ceremonies. This cherished holiday tradition returns to offer a warm, uniting space for the communities of Goleta, Santa Barbara, Montecito, and Carpinteria to remember and honor the loved ones whose absence is felt during the holiday season. The ceremonies are free and open to the public.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA, December 2, 2025 – Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is honored to invite the community to its 42nd Annual Light Up a Life ceremonies. This cherished holiday tradition returns to offer a warm, uniting space for the communities of Goleta, Santa Barbara, Montecito, and Carpinteria to remember and honor the loved ones whose absence is felt during the holiday season. The ceremonies are free and open to the public.
While the holiday season is often associated with joy, it frequently stirs a complex mix of feelings. For individuals navigating this time while grieving a loss, the emotions can be especially raw. HSB understands that this period requires both remembrance and support, which is why we proudly host Light Up a Life annually to honor those who are deeply missed.
HSB will host four ceremonies featuring speakers, entertainment, refreshments, and the lighting of a memorial tree. This year, HSB is excited to welcome back Lois Mahalia, John Vale, Dos Pueblos Jazz Choir, and the Laguna Blanca School Choir to certain ceremonies, along with cookies from Robin Himovitz and Aunt Janet’s Cookies, poetry by Perie Longo and George Yatchisin, and other amazing speakers and guests.
Guests will be able to hang one or more stars in memory of a loved one who has died or in honor of someone living. The Trees of Remembrance will remain lit at each site through the end of the year.
Dates and locations include:
Saturday, December 6th at 5PM - Montecito - The Corner Green @ 1504 E. Valley Road (Program begins 30 minutes later, after star sales and music)
Sunday, December 7th at 5:30PM - Santa Barbara - Lobero Theatre @ 33 E. Canon Perdido (Program begins 30 minutes later, after star sales and music)
Saturday, December 13th at 5PM - Carpinteria - Seal Fountain @ 884 Linden Avenue (Program begins 30 minutes later, after star sales and music)
Sunday, December 14th at 5PM - Goleta - Camino Real Marketplace near Theater @ 7040 Market Place Drive (Program begins 30 minutes later, after star sales and music)
Stars and refreshments will be available at each event.
Those who would like to participate but are unable to attend the in-person ceremonies can dedicate a star to a loved one on HSB’s Virtual Tree of Remembrance. For a suggested donation of $15, individuals can dedicate a digital star(s) with their loved one’s name, photo, and a special message.
“We invite the community to join us as we take a moment to honor those we hold dear, whether they are with us in body or spirit,” said David Selberg, Hospice of Santa Barbara CEO. "Light Up a Life is a wonderful way to kick off the holiday season and come together to share love and foster a spirit of unity."
All events are free. To dedicate a paper or virtual star, or for more information, please visit: www.hospiceofsb.org/lual
INTERPRETACIÓN SIMULTÁNEA AL ESPAÑOL DISPONIBLE
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on 17 local elementary, junior high, and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
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Hospice of Santa Barbara Celebrates 2025 Heroes of Hospice Luncheon
Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) celebrated the 2025 Heroes of Hospice award recipients at its sold-out 13th Annual Heroes of Hospice (HOH) luncheon on Sunday, September 14, 2025, from 11:00 AM to 1:30 PM at the Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort (1759 S Jameson Lane, Montecito). The event recognized individuals and organizations for their outstanding service and dedication to the health and well-being of the community, while also marking 51 years of Hospice of Santa Barbara’s compassionate care.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA — September 18, 2025 — Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) celebrated the 2025 Heroes of Hospice award recipients at its sold-out 13th Annual Heroes of Hospice (HOH) luncheon on Sunday, September 14, 2025, from 11:00 AM to 1:30 PM at the Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort (1759 S Jameson Lane, Montecito). The event recognized individuals and organizations for their outstanding service and dedication to the health and well-being of the community, while also marking 51 years of Hospice of Santa Barbara’s compassionate care.
CenCal Health received the Medical Award in recognition of its leadership in championing healthcare access for children. Providing health coverage for 1 in 4 people in Santa Barbara County, CenCal Health has been in operation since 1983, making it the oldest Medicaid-managed care program of its kind in the country.
“CenCal Health is an incredible partner to Hospice of Santa Barbara and provides access to high-quality health services, along with education and outreach, for thousands of low-income and marginalized families in Santa Barbara County,” said David Selberg, CEO of HSB. “They know that our entire community thrives when we all achieve optimal health together.”
YouthWell was honored with the Partner Award for its essential work in coordinating mental health and wellness services for youth across the region. YouthWell collaborates with HSB to support children navigating grief, mental wellness, and the development of self-care practices.
"YouthWell plays a critical role in providing an important safety-net of support in our community for children and teens and their families in crisis,” said Selberg.
Angel Flight West received the Volunteer Award for its unwavering commitment to providing free medical transportation to individuals and families in need. The organization connects volunteer pilots and commercial airlines with people whose non-emergency health needs require long-distance travel to access care.
“Angel Flight West is a gift to all the communities they serve, including here in Santa Barbara,” said Selberg. “With their donated flights, they serve as the transportation bridge for those in need of medical care and the facilities that can help them.”
The luncheon also featured keynote speaker David Kessler, best-selling author and one of the world's foremost experts on death and grief. Kessler shared his insights, including his experiences working with children in grief, a key focus of this year’s event.
Event Details
Date: Sunday, September 14, 2025
Time: 11:00 AM – 1:30 PM
Location: Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort, Santa Barbara, CA
For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara and its programs, visit www.hospiceofsb.org.
Hospice of Santa Barbara
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on seventeen local elementary, junior high and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information
about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsb.org/
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Every Bottle, Every Visit, Every Order: Folded Hills Donates 100% of Friday Sales in September to Hospice of Santa Barbara
Every Friday in September, Folded Hills Winery will match 100% of every purchase – whether it’s bottles of wine, visits to the tasting rooms, or orders from the online store—with a donation to Hospice of Santa Barbara. Through its Philanthropy Fridays initiative, made possible by the Kim and Andy Bush Family Foundation, Folded Hills shines a spotlight on local nonprofits and their amazing work. This month, wine lovers have the unique opportunity to raise a glass while supporting Hospice of Santa Barbara’s mission of providing compassionate care to those in need.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA — September 11, 2025 — Every Friday in September, Folded Hills Winery will match 100% of every purchase – whether it’s bottles of wine, visits to the tasting rooms, or orders from the online store—with a donation to Hospice of Santa Barbara. Through its Philanthropy Fridays initiative, made possible by the Kim and Andy Bush Family Foundation, Folded Hills shines a spotlight on local nonprofits and their amazing work. This month, wine lovers have the unique opportunity to raise a glass while supporting Hospice of Santa Barbara’s mission of providing compassionate care to those in need.
Kim Busch, Owner and Founder of Folded Hills, who has a close connection to Hospice of Santa Barbara, said, “When my husband faced a very difficult diagnosis, we first called a neuro-oncologist. Our second call was to Hospice of Santa Barbara. They were able to recommend a wonderful grief counselor who helped us to navigate this challenging and confusing new world. We continue to depend on Hospice of Santa Barbara for their in-depth knowledge, programs, and loving care. It is a privilege to be able to help support and give back to these incredible Heroes.”
Since 1974, Hospice of Santa Barbara has provided free support to individuals and families affected by serious illness and to those bereaved in our community. “We are incredibly grateful for Folded Hills’ generosity and support. Contributions like theirs allow us to be there for anyone in our community who needs our services during life’s most challenging moments,” said David Selberg, CEO of Hospice of Santa Barbara.
HSB’s partnership with Folded Hills offers a meaningful way to give back—simply by enjoying local wine. It’s also the perfect opportunity to stock up early on holiday gifts! Visit either tasting room or shop online during the remaining Fridays in September for Folded Hills Philanthropy Fridays.
To participate in Philanthropy Fridays at Folded Hills, you can:
Shop online at foldedhills.com on any Friday in September
Visit either Folded Hills tasting room on any Friday in September
Montecito Tasting Room: 1294 Coast Village Road, Montecito, CA, 93108
Homestead Tasting Room: 2525 Old Coast HWY, Gaviota, CA, 95117
Golden Hour this Friday!
Don’t miss Golden Hour at Folded Hills on Friday, September 12, from 4:00–7:30 PM at the Estate Homestead Tasting Room. Enjoy a relaxed evening with live music, wood-fired pizzas, and award-winning wines by the glass. No RSVP required—first come, first served!
Hospice of Santa Barbara
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on seventeen local elementary, junior high and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsb.org/
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Heroes of Hospice of SB Luncheon to Showcase Unique and Valuable Artwork for Auction
Hospice of Santa Barbara’s 13th annual Heroes of Hospice luncheon will include a silent art auction, thanks to the generous donation by Suzanne Grimmesey and Edwin Feliciano of three giclée prints by Armenian artist Gevorg Yeghiazaryan. While bids are only available online at https://paybee.io/@hospiceofsb@23, the prints will be on display at this year’s event. Each is valued at as much as $2,000 or higher.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA. September 9, 2025 – Hospice of Santa Barbara’s 13th annual Heroes of Hospice luncheon will include a silent art auction, thanks to the generous donation by Suzanne Grimmesey and Edwin Feliciano of three giclée prints by Armenian artist Gevorg Yeghiazaryan. While bids are only available online at https://paybee.io/@hospiceofsb@23, the prints will be on display at this year’s event. Each is valued at as much as $2,000 or higher.
About the Artist
Yeghiazaryan, born in 1963 in Gyumri, Armenia, graduated from the Yerevan School of Fine Arts in 1983 and the Yerevan Fine Arts and Theater Institute in 1991. In 1994, he became a member of the "Union of Artists" of Armenia, and in 1998, he became a member of the International Association of Arts (UNESCO). In 2005, he founded an experimental pottery studio and has had art exhibitions in Boston, Atlanta, New York, Jerusalem, Beirut, and many other cities.
Yeghiazaryan’s artwork is known for its study of surrealism and poetic lyricism. Art critics cite Yeghiazaryan’s ability to walk the boundary between reality and fantasy as part of his work’s appeal. Much of his artwork is dominated by contrasts of light, space, color, and transparency while exploring themes of music, memory, and introspection. His limited edition giclée prints are highly sought after by collectors and art enthusiasts.
The artwork up for auction at the Heroes of Hospice event includes the following:
“Symphony of Souls” 57.5 h x 46.5 w
A study of music and motion unfolds as a dreamlike ensemble of musicians dissolves into abstract shapes with fluid forms and vivid colors, blending reality and imagination into a cohesive vision.
“Don Quixote” 32.5 square
The classic story of Don Quixote is brought to life with expressive brushwork and contrasts of light and dark, highlighting the dreamer’s face as he gazes pensively into the distance.
“Silence of the Night” 50.5 h x 58.5 w
A nocturnal scene evokes a sense of calm and introspection with bold brushstrokes, inviting viewers to pause and reflect on the night’s beauty and the contemplative space it makes for the mind and soul.
Other online auction items include a range of items, including vacations and staycations, theater and cultural event tickets, sporting opportunities, including rounds of golf and pickleball lessons, wellness and day spa sessions, wine tastings, dinners at local fine dining restaurants, and much more. Visit: Online Auction items to pursue items and to make a bid.
Heroes of Hospice Award Recipients
The luncheon’s silent auction will complement the main event, which is a celebration of individuals and organizations in the community who have shown compassionate dedication to supporting those facing life-threatening illness or grief. This year’s award recipients include CenCal Health, YouthWell, and Angel Flight West, in recognition of their service to local children, teens, and marginalized families.
The keynote speaker will be David Kessler, a best-selling author and one of the world’s foremost experts on death and grief. He will be sharing his unique experience of children in grief, the focus of this year’s event.
The luncheon will take place on Sunday, September 14, 2025 from 11:00 AM to 1:30 PM at Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort. Tickets are on sale now.
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Hospice of Santa Barbara Announces 2025 Heroes of Hospice Award Recipients
Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is honored to announce the 2025 Heroes of Hospice award recipients, recognized for their outstanding service and dedication to the health and well-being of our community. The honorees will be celebrated at Hospice of Santa Barbara’s 13th Annual Heroes of Hospice (HOH) luncheon on Sunday, September 14, 2025, from 11:00 AM to 1:30 PM at the Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort (1759 S Jameson Lane, Montecito). The event also marks 51 years of Hospice of Santa Barbara’s compassionate care and service to the community.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA — August 18, 2025 — Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) is honored to announce the 2025 Heroes of Hospice award recipients, recognized for their outstanding service and dedication to the health and well-being of our community. The honorees will be celebrated at Hospice of Santa Barbara’s 13th Annual Heroes of Hospice (HOH) luncheon on Sunday, September 14, 2025, from 11:00 AM to 1:30 PM at the Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort (1759 S Jameson Lane, Montecito). The event also marks 51 years of Hospice of Santa Barbara’s compassionate care and service to the community.
CenCal Health will receive the Medical Award in recognition of its leadership in championing healthcare access for children. Providing health coverage for 1 in 4 people in Santa Barbara County, CenCal Health has been in operation since 1983, and is recognized as the oldest Medicaid-managed care program of its kind in the country.
“CenCal Health is an incredible partner to Hospice of Santa Barbara and provides access to high-quality health services, along with education and outreach, for thousands of low-income and marginalized families in Santa Barbara County,” said David Selberg, CEO of HSB. “They know that our entire community thrives when we all achieve optimal health together.”
YouthWell will be honored with the Partner Award for its essential work in coordinating mental health and wellness services for youth across the region. YouthWell collaborates with HSB to help children navigating grief, with their mental wellness and with developing self-care practices.
"YouthWell plays a critical role in providing an important safety-net of support in our community for children and teens and their families in crisis,” said Selberg.
Angel Flight West will receive the Volunteer Award for its unwavering commitment to providing free medical transportation to individuals and families in need. The organization links volunteer pilots and commercial airlines with people whose non-emergency health needs require long-distance travel to access care.
“Angel Flight West is a gift to all the communities they serve, including here in Santa Barbara,” said Selberg. “With their donated flights, they are the transportation bridge for those in need of medical care and the facilities that can help them.”
In addition to recognizing this year’s outstanding honorees, Hospice of Santa Barbara is incredibly excited to have best-selling author and one of the world's foremost experts on death and grief, David Kessler, as this year's keynote speaker. It is a privilege to have him share, among other things, his unique experience of children in grief, which is the focus of our event this year.
Event Details
Date: Sunday, September 14, 2025
Time: 11:00 AM – 1:30 PM
Location: Rosewood Miramar Beach Resort, Santa Barbara, CA
For more information and tickets, visit hospiceofsb.org/heroes
Hospice of Santa Barbara
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on seventeen local elementary, junior high and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsb.org/
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Hospice of Santa Barbara Announces Donation from the Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians
The Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians has made a generous donation of $15,000 to Hospice of Santa Barbara, supporting ongoing patient care services for approximately 800 people annually in the Santa Barbara community. Patient care services encompass medical care management, volunteer support, anticipatory grief counseling, spiritual care, bereavement care management, and quality of life stipends.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Jake Wong (858) 449-5234
chris@wavecommsb.com, jake@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA, June 30– The Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians has made a generous donation of $15,000 to Hospice of Santa Barbara, supporting ongoing patient care services for approximately 800 people annually in the Santa Barbara community. Patient care services encompass medical care management, volunteer support, anticipatory grief counseling, spiritual care, bereavement care management, and quality of life stipends.
“Hospice of Santa Barbara fills a critical need in the community, providing vital care and services to patients and their families,” said Kenneth Kahn, Tribal Chairman for the Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians. “Our tribe is proud to support their efforts,” Kahm also shared.
Over the past 13 years, they have donated a total of $63,000 towards the organization’s efforts to serve people in Santa Barbara experiencing a life-threatening illness or grieving the death of a loved one.
“We are incredibly grateful for the support of the Santa Ynez Band of Chumash Indians,” said David Selberg, CEO of Hospice of Santa Barbara. “They understand that community support is essential to our ability to serve everyone that needs us, free of charge,” said Selberg.
The services being funded aim to improve the medical, emotional and psychological outcomes for patients and their family members. For example, Hospice of SB’s medical care managers accompany patients to appointments, take notes, explain doctor instructions, and advocate for the patient, as needed. Over 38 percent of Hospice of SB’s patients are Latino, making the translation services Hospice of SB provides with its bilingual staff vital to patient care and treatment outcomes.
Mental health is another important aspect of the patient experience that Hospice of SB addresses. Studies indicate up to 48 percent of cancer patients fulfill criteria for clinical depression. However, studies also show that those who receive grief and mental health support have less anxiety, depression and overall psychological distress. Hospice of SB provides anticipatory grief counseling to help people prepare for the loss of a loved one and cope with their grief, both before and after the loved one passes away. Bereavement care also helps family members deal with depression, anxiety, stress, and physical tasks such as navigating Social Security paperwork or finding subsidized childcare. Counseling and practical support are provided by trained staff and volunteers.
Hospice of SB was founded in 1974, making it the second oldest hospice organization in the country. It employs about 50 staff and over 100 volunteers who serve 2,100 people with direct services and hundreds more with training classes, workshops, education, and outreach events. All services provided by the organization are free of charge.
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Compassionate Care of Carpinteria hosts the 6th Annual The Light Shines Ahead Luncheon to Bring Awareness and Raise Funds for its Free Services in Carpinteria
Compassionate Care of Carpinteria (CCC), an initiative of Hospice of Santa Barbara, will host its 6th Annual luncheon, The Light Shines Ahead on Thursday, May 16, 2024 from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm at the Rincon Beach Club, located at 3805 Santa Claus Ln, Carpinteria, CA.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Citlali Erazo (805) 403-3170
chris@wavecommsb.com, citlali@wavecommsb.com
Carpinteria, CA, April 12, 2024 - Compassionate Care of Carpinteria (CCC), an initiative of Hospice of Santa Barbara, will host its 6th Annual luncheon, The Light Shines Ahead on Thursday, May 16, 2024 from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm at the Rincon Beach Club, located at 3805 Santa Claus Ln, Carpinteria, CA.
The Light Shines Ahead luncheon will feature special guest speaker Jessica Clark, owner and founder of The Connected Co. Clark’s dedication to her community was forged through both triumph and tragedy. After enduring the loss of her first husband and her father within a year to cancer, she found solace and strength in the support of her community. This profound experience ignited her commitment to giving back. She went on to establish, manage, and sell multiple restaurants in the region, and has recently ventured into business coaching and consulting. But beyond her entrepreneurial endeavors, Clark is deeply engaged in grassroots initiatives aimed at fostering community support and empowerment.
The luncheon will also feature steering committee chair, Marybeth Carty, Virginia Benson Wigle, founder of the Starfish Connection, a nonprofit organization offering bridge gap grants to individuals who would otherwise fall through the cracks, and David Selberg, Hospice of Santa Barbara’s CEO.
Since the beginnings of Hospice of Santa Barbara fifty years ago, the organization has been proud to serve children and families in Carpinteria struggling with the loss of a loved one or coping with life-threatening illness. Due to a variety of factors, including a reduction in the stigma surrounding mental health, there is an increase in demand for services, and in some cases, an increase in wait times to receive services. CCC’s goal is to reduce wait times by expanding its core capacity for counseling and launching new innovative programs that can reach more people.
This luncheon will have a special focus on remembering loved ones who have passed away and their impact on our lives. Guests will be provided with an opportunity to donate and support the wonderful work of CCC in the name of their loved ones, helping bring programs and services, completely free of charge, to adults, children and seniors who are struggling with grief or life-threatening illness. Guests are also invited to bring a photograph of their loved ones to place at their table.
"The Light Shines Ahead has become a beloved annual event that brings this compassionate and close-knit community together to support our work in Carpinteria," said David Selberg, CEO of Hospice of Santa Barbara. “We look forward to once again gathering with fellow CCC supporters, united in our dedication to offering assistance to anyone affected by serious illness or coping with the loss of a loved one.”
The Light Shines Ahead is the annual fundraiser for CCC, an initiative of Hospice of Santa Barbara that offers programs and services, completely free of charge, to adults, children and seniors who are struggling with grief or life-threatening illness. Services include counseling, practical care, and medical navigation. All services are offered in English and Spanish throughout Carpinteria.
To buy tickets, view sponsorship opportunities or learn more about the event, please visit www.CompassionateCareofCarpinteria.org.
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling on 17 local elementary, junior high, and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsantabarbara.org.
Hospice of Santa Barbara Offers Insights into Family Grieving
Grieving the loss of a family member is a deeply intricate emotional journey. Shared bonds and histories make family grief especially unique. Family grief extends beyond the individual and intertwines with the collective fabric of shared experiences, roles and responsibilities.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Citlali Erazo (805) 403-3170
chris@wavecommsb.com, citlali@wavecommsb.com
Santa Barbara, CA, March 26, 2024 - Grieving the loss of a family member is a deeply intricate emotional journey. Shared bonds and histories make family grief especially unique. Family grief extends beyond the individual and intertwines with the collective fabric of shared experiences, roles and responsibilities.
Grieving the loss of a family member is a complex and challenging process that can be difficult for various reasons. The loss disrupts the balance within the family. This can cause relationships and dynamics to change because there is someone missing and there is a role that is unfulfilled.
Grief is a unique and personal experience, which means the process is different for everyone. Grief may include crying, shutting down, irritability, sleeping, having trouble sleeping, overeating, struggling with appetite, moments of levity, numbness, depression and denial. Some family members may seek open discussions about the loss, while others may choose to retreat into silence. Some may find comfort in being surrounded by loved ones, while others may require solitary moments to process and cope with the grief.
“In family bereavement we typically have a grieving spouse and grieving children of the deceased parent,” said Michael Cruse, Bereavement Services Manager at Hospice of Santa Barbara. “The surviving parent is grieving their spouse or partner and all the hopes, dreams and expectations that went into that relationship. The parent is painfully aware of their children’s grief and how their expressions vary based upon their differing developmental ages and often their unique relationship with the deceased parent.”
It is common for death to change the family dynamic. This can be a result of several factors, including age, relationship, role, difference in coping mechanisms, heightened stress and emotions, and unresolved family issues which can lead to the resurfacing of past grievances.
“For families in the midst of all that pain and sorrow the surviving parent must also learn to parent through the experience of their own grief. The challenge for parents is to model for their children how to be with one’s own valid emotional life while simultaneously taking care to not overwhelm the children; thereby, creating space for their children to also grieve as a family,” said Cruse.
Navigating the profound sorrow of losing a family member is challenging. Hospice of Santa Barbara encourages the following guidelines amidst the hardships of losing a loved one.
Guidelines for grieving well together
Respect different forms of grief
It's important to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to grief. It's common to find yourself comparing differences in grieving styles within family members, leading to feelings of guilt or judgment. The key is to grant yourself and others the space to grieve in their own unique ways. Acknowledge and respect the wide range of responses within the family and understand that each member may cope differently.
Respect different paces of grief
It's crucial to recognize that grief is a deeply personal process and individuals experience grief differently and at their own pace. Some may experience an immediate sense of mourning after a loss, while for others the full impact may take weeks or even months to sink in. Understanding and respecting each family member’s response is key.
Make room for feelings
Create space for each other's emotions. If you’re a parent, provide reassurance to children that it is acceptable to feel sad, confused, or even okay during the grieving process. Provide a safe atmosphere. Granting permission to feel complex emotions is crucial for the healing journey.
Set boundaries
Family members may not always be able to fulfill each other's needs during this difficult time. While family support can be comforting, there are moments when you may feel incapable of assisting others due to your own emotional challenges, and that is fine. Prioritizing self-care is crucial.
Seek outside help
Seeking the guidance of a professional can be especially beneficial during the grieving process. Therapy can be a safe space to express emotions, as well as a resource for coping strategies to handle overwhelming emotions and find healthy outlets for grief.
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on 17 local elementary, junior high, and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsantabarbara.org.
*Sources: Hospice of Santa Barbara; Psychology Today; Sytsema Funeral & Cremation Services
Children’s Grief Requires Special and Individualized Care
Eight-year-old Sam started going to Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) about a year after his mom had died. He had a close, warm bond with his mom, yet he did not cry much after the first few days. Sam had started becoming very upset when his dad and sister expressed sadness about missing mom. He had also become anxious and resistant to going to school in the morning when he had previously liked school. His dad was unsure how to help, so he called HSB. With his counselor, Sam was able to begin expressing feelings about losing his mom, share memories, and nurture a sense of continued connection with his mom’s love. His counselor facilitated father-child sessions, and after a while, Sam began turning toward his dad for comfort and connection, and had more openness to talking about his mom. In time Sam was experiencing more ease in himself, with his family, and in school.
Media Contact: Chris Davis/Citlali Erazo (805) 403-3170
chris@wavecommsb.com, citlali@wavecommsb.com
Hospice of Santa Barbara Provides Support, Insights, and Tips to Help Children Cope After Loss
Santa Barbara, CA, February 26, 2024 - Eight-year-old Sam started going to Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) about a year after his mom had died. He had a close, warm bond with his mom, yet he did not cry much after the first few days. Sam had started becoming very upset when his dad and sister expressed sadness about missing mom. He had also become anxious and resistant to going to school in the morning when he had previously liked school. His dad was unsure how to help, so he called HSB. With his counselor, Sam was able to begin expressing feelings about losing his mom, share memories, and nurture a sense of continued connection with his mom’s love. His counselor facilitated father-child sessions, and after a while, Sam began turning toward his dad for comfort and connection, and had more openness to talking about his mom. In time Sam was experiencing more ease in himself, with his family, and in school.
Hospice of Santa Barbara (HSB) understands the complicated and sensitive process for helping children cope with the loss of a family member or friend. They are active on local campuses providing professional weekly counseling to elementary through high school age students. HSB on-campus counseling services provide a critical venue for honest communication, support and coping skills reducing the negative coping mechanisms such as drugs, alcohol, and other self-medicating and harmful behavior. Their work with the schools extends to educating teachers and staff on how to deal with students’ questions about traumatic death, such as a peer’s suicide. HSB is poised to respond immediately to any and all of the 65 schools from Carpinteria to Goleta who call on us when a traumatic death occurs within the campus structure.
“Having hospice therapists available to our students during their school day has been so valuable in helping our students to work through some tough times and get back to being a student,” said Athena Sims, La Colina Junior High School Counselor. “Just knowing that their ‘HSB person’ was available and part of their schedule for the week certainly helped our students to focus on the business of learning. Grief counseling is a special skill and, unfortunately, we continue to have new needs for it,” said Sims.
Each year, about 300 children and teens receive HSB services when experiencing the death of a family member, the suicide of a friend, or a disaster that affects an entire community. Often those most in need are the Littles (4-8 year olds) and the Middles (8-12 year olds). Imagine trying to find the words to explain a terminal disease or death itself while anticipating the absence of a loved relative who is central to a child’s sense of safety, home, and family. Licensed counselors help the whole family system, anchoring children to simple concrete answers in order to understand the big changes already happening.
What is Unique About Childhood Grief?
Although young children may not understand death, most are aware of it from exposure through cartoons, movies, and video games. However, experiencing the death of a loved one can be especially difficult and traumatic for a child.
Although adult grief and children’s grief can share similarities, it is important to note that due to developmental considerations children’s reactions and duration of grief are different. For instance, adults can sustain a year or more of intense grieving, however children tend to experience grief-related behavior intermittently, and for many years after the loss.
Grief is complicated and it affects each child differently. Common responses to traumatic grief include intrusive memories about death, nightmares, guilt, or self-blame about how the person died. Another type of response a child may have is avoidance and numbing, which is when a child withdraws, acting as if not upset, or avoiding any reminders of the person or the way he or she died. Lastly, a child may exhibit physical or emotional symptoms like irritability, anger, stomachaches, headaches and fears about safety. Worrisome behaviors include a drop in grades, dangerous risk taking, self-destructive behaviors, violent play, use of drugs or alcohol, or a dramatic change in personality.
It is critical to approach children’s grief with patience and with an understanding that a child’s overt behavior will not necessarily reveal his or her internal distress. It is common for children who have experienced a loss to experience the symptoms mentioned earlier, in addition to denial, emotional numbing, confusion, difficulty sleeping, regressive behaviors, and changes in appetite.
Tips to Support A Grieving Child
Encourage a Grieving Child to Express their Feelings
A great way to start a conversation with a child is to read a children’s book together about death and encourage them to express their emotions. Sometimes it is difficult for a child to express their feelings using words and some helpful alternatives are drawing, making a scrapbook, and telling stories.
Be Developmentally Appropriate
It is crucial to offer enough information so that the child can understand, but not so much that it becomes overwhelming. A good starting point is to answer any questions the child may have and be as honest and clear as possible.
Be Direct
Although it might seem safer to use euphemisms such as a loved one “went to sleep,” it can do more harm in the long run. Children interpret things literally and euphemisms can create unnecessary fear and interfere with a child’s ability to learn to develop healthy coping skills. The best approach is to be honest and explain death in a way the child can understand.
Stick to Routines
Having a routine brings comfort to children who are grieving because it provides a sense of predictability and control. While grieving a lost loved one is important, it’s also helpful for a child to realize that life goes on.
Grief is a journey that is unique to each individual, and what works for one child may not work for another. The most valuable thing one can offer to a child who is dealing with grief is a safe space built on love, support, empathy and understanding.
Hospice of Santa Barbara provides professional counseling, support groups, and patient care services free of charge to individuals and families who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing the impact of a life-threatening illness. Hospice of Santa Barbara also provides counseling in our offices and on 17 local elementary, junior high, and high school campuses to children and teens who are grieving the loss of a loved one. For more information about Hospice of Santa Barbara, including volunteer opportunities, call (805) 563-8820 or visit www.hospiceofsantabarbara.org.
*Sources: Hospice of Santa Barbara; The National Child Traumatic Stress Network; Bereavement: Reactions, Consequences, and Care; Child Mind Institute
Tips For Navigating The Holidays After The Loss Of A Loved One
Hospice of Santa Barbara encourages our community to not just “get through” the holidays, but to embrace the season as a time for healing. Read more for a few tips we hope will be helpful.
Hospice of Santa Barbara - November 22, 2023
Hospice of Santa Barbara encourages our community to not just “get through” the holidays, but to embrace the season as a time for healing. Here are a few tips we hope will be helpful to you:
As the holidays near, there may be hard times ahead as you mourn your loved one. Remember that everyone grieves differently, and that it’s okay to not feel okay. If there are children in your family who are also coping with loss, focus on their needs and help them process through their grief.
Make a conscious decision when it comes to carrying on your holiday traditions, or considering starting new ones. Continuing the old traditions may help keep your loved one’s memory alive, but setting new ones may help you to move on.
Honor your loved one’s memory, whether it is through a beloved holiday tradition, or by sharing stories about them with your friends. Remember that although they are gone, their memory will always live on in your heart.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself by getting a proper amount of sleep, eating healthy and exercising when you can, but without forcing too much of your energy. Taking care of your body will help alleviate stress and improve your overall well-being.
Surround yourself with a supportive community that will be with you every step of the way as you cope with your grief. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
And, in hopes of making the holidays brighter for you and your family, we cordially invite you to celebrate and honor the lives of your loved ones at Hospice of Santa Barbara’s 40th annual Light Up A Life ceremonies.